Posters of Naked Men
I want a big poster of a luscious naked man.
All I can find are posters of naked women.
I don't want to see women! I don't find women attractive. I want a delicious man!! I want like a pin-up man, or maybe one of the French Rugby team calendars. I want a man on my wall that I can look at every night before I go to bed and look at right when I wake up. I want copious amounts of naked man photos, nice masculine men, not gay bears or gay bondage or gay whatever. I want a nice handsome hunky man looking out of the poster saying, "Come to me. I'm yours, baby. Lick my bottom and I'll moan in excitement as my cock stiffens. You're an amazing woman."
Why do men have this privilege, and women must make do with just fantasies? I'm going to start a magazine, for real. It will be full of Maxim's humor, none of this "beauty tips" or "what is he thinking?" crap, but actual intelligent pieces, and it will have NAKED MEN EVERYWHERE.
I'm a fucking horndog.
The thing that strikes me most about it, though, is the sense of entitlement it conveys. Maxim is made for men to think that they are the center of the world, that they deserve the best in life, and that everything is made for them. Women are not marketed to by this angle. Women's magazines tell women how to amplify their eyes for others to look at, which purse to buy so that others will admire them, or how to capture a boyfriend that will make their friends jealous. Men's magazines tell men that the world is theirs, that men have the world, that men are fine and problem-free and women are either trouble or amazing. It makes men think that even though they might be fat or ugly or smelly, they can still be an amazing man and score a fantastic girlfriend.
It's like women's magazines exploit women's insecurities.
I have a sense of entitlement, goddamnit, and I need you to give me naked men now. Men are here to serve me. I buy things so that I can enjoy them, not so that others will admire me. I used to care about things like that, but now I'm self-centered and unapologetic. Give me men. I want them now! I want them all in my room, making out with each other, bringing me drinks and licking my face.
Sometimes I feel like I'm a gay man in a woman's body. I like butts, backs, men on men, and pretty, little-boy angel faces.
Find me naked men posters, now!
posted by :) @ 7:48 AM
14 Comments:
This is a fabulous post. You're completely right. Men's magazines treat men as if they're buddies...they say "Look how cool this is...you want this too, right?" Women's magazines seem to talk down to women, as if they should be striving to be what they see in the magazines. Which probably contributes to self-esteem and health issues. Personally, I think you have a million dollar idea here. Go with it.
I can send you a naked pic
Are you hot? Men always volunteer to send me naked photos, and it ends up being a close-up of their cock, or some not-very-good-looking man standing around somewhere naked holding on to their cock. Is it a nice, poster-quality photo, or do you just get off on showing your penis to people?
For some reason boys feel like they can share their penis with me. They'll ask to DC and then when I do, all of a sudden a penis photo pops up. I can ignore it, whatever, but then they ASK ME WHAT I THINK. It's a penis, I don't know. It's similar to other penises..? What do you think about my vag?
In the rare instance that his entire face is in it, and he is smiling, he is often pale or pasty with pimples and blackheads or has icky hair (either on his head, his chest, or his crotch).
So not to sound bitter, but I don't think you would put up with that from your girly mags. You expect facials and nice makeup and tan skin and sexy hair and beauty everywhere. That's what I want. Beautiful men. I'm one of the girls in the camp that think it's appropriate for men to wear subtle makeup that accentuates their features and hides their less desirable features.
If you're a beautiful man, then please send me your photo, by all means! It's okay if you've photoshopped it to look better. Many people often do that anyway. Just don't expect me to gush over it if you lack proper hygiene.
By the way, thanks, Glenn. I know there's got to be a real market for it. I'm always struck by how classy I find Playboy to be presented. Playgirl is unsuccessful because it's just cheesy. The next few years will find me in the offices of Conde Nast with a team of writers, photographers, and a subversively erotic glossy women's magazine. I was thrown out of an engineering business class because I made that my business plan proposal. After all, what's a bigger moneymaker in America than sex and entertainment? Government?
In addition, whenever a woman is cast as someone who lusts for men, she is portrayed as a caricature. Think Saturday Night Live's portrayal of Donatella Versace with her poolboys. Think Will and Grace's Karen Walker. Think Desperate Housewives. It should be normal to be lusting after men.
I really think there's too much emphasis placed on female beauty. It's out of balance! Men AND women are beautiful, and not all women are beautiful, despite what the media claims. I'm just anxious to freely lust after boys, boys who are conscious of their sexiness and make an effort to flaunt it. Tease me, boys! Titillate me!
Try going to a gay bookstore, one that carries posters and stuff. Besides the Leather Daddy and Bear types, there should be a good selection of pretty-boys ("Twinks", they are sometimes called). They may smirk at you as you make your purchase, but your het money is just as green as the gay money they're used to :-).
it's about time that women become the gazers, rather than adhering to that old paradigm where the women are passive and gazed at. when someone is always in the position of being gazed at, they are always trying to impress, to measure up to the gazer's standards--to perperually hope to be chosen. but when women develop a sense of entitlement and start gazing back, then the flow of power is reversed--she can start choosing and critiquing. this is seditious to the old order where men generally escape the sexual judgement women are subjected to. i welcome this coming development with open arms (and probably open legs) ;)
I think the double standard is wrong too. I found an article about a couple of women trying to change the status quo by starting their own mag called Sweet Action. It's not the soft porn a la Maxim but hopefully you'll be jillin in no time =).
http://www.villagevoice.com/people/0510,taormino,61791,24.html
I think your idea of an all nude male magazine is great. Just don't be surprised when 95% of your subscribers are gay males.
I don't think it even has to be all-nude. I looked at the article, and it says things about Playgirl that I haven't found to be true.
"The name says it all: It's a near exact replica of a mainstream men's adult magazine—same tired poses, "picturesque" settings, and extremely styled and airbrushed models—with naked guys simply substituted for the ladies. The majority of the men are the one-dimensional equivalent of Chippendales strippers (is that redundant?): shiny, dated, and too groomed for their own good"
When I've read Playgirls, I've only found about one or two guys I was attracted to in the entire magazine. The rest seemed like amateurs.
The "Guy Without His Shirt" feature in Cosmopolitan really hits the spot. I looove those. I can feel my blood rushing to my groin when I flip open to that page. Sometimes Cosmo will have more soft porn by having a feature like "What does the shape of his butt mean about his personality?" and will display fine butts with a tiny little blurb about the guy's ass. But still, it's not enough! Give me more! I want those Abercrombie catalogs to come back as well. Mmmmm frattastic.
I've tried gay porn, but it's not the same. Twinks.. eh. I like a full-sized man, not really boys, but I like him clean and smooth with soft tan flesh and muscly curves. Metro, I guess. Do they have pretty metro pornish? I don't even really need the cocks, the feel of the man is the fantasy for me.
I'm just saying that there is a better-than-even chance that you can find posters of hot men at places that cater to gay tastes-- in particular bookstores (not even necessarily the adult variety). The subjects of the posters may be gay, but that shouldn't matter-- when I rub one out over pix of Angelina Jolie, I know I'll never have a chance, and it has nothing to do with our respective orientations :-).
The thing that strikes me most about it, though, is the sense of entitlement it conveys. Maxim is made for men to think that they are the center of the world, that they deserve the best in life, and that everything is made for them. Women are not marketed to by this angle. Women's magazines tell women how to amplify their eyes for others to look at, which purse to buy so that others will admire them, or how to capture a boyfriend that will make their friends jealous. Men's magazines tell men that the world is theirs, that men have the world, that men are fine and problem-free and women are either trouble or amazing. It makes men think that even though they might be fat or ugly or smelly, they can still be an amazing man and score a fantastic girlfriend.
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brilliant. kudos.
he he he.................brilent
Came across this when doing research for an article in my magazine...SUITE Magazine, The Provocative Alternative for the Intelligent Woman (www.suitemag.com). You may like it!
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